


surrendering (to gravity and the unknown)

by Tedronai



Category: Wheel of Time - Robert Jordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 04:14:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9054895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tedronai/pseuds/Tedronai
Summary: There's no easy way to say it, but Taim must.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [neuxue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/neuxue/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide, Lia! This is not quite the complete AU that could spring from here, but it's a start, yes? :D
> 
> The title is from [Gravity](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cDdMZ2K9o0) by A Perfect Circle.

There’s no good way to bring the subject up and Taim knows it. “There’s something you should know, Logain,” he says, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling in the dark. “There’s a Forsaken interfering with the Black Tower.”

In the silence that follows the confession, all he can hear is the sound of his own breathing. If he didn’t know otherwise, he might well have thought himself alone in the room. He resists the urge to keep talking only to break the silence; Logain will have to say something eventually. Taim can wait, dammit.

“And you know this, how?” Logain asks after several minutes of dead silence.

There’s especially no good way to say the next part.

“Because I’ve been working with him,” Taim replies. He feels the mattress shift as Logain rolls over to face him.

“Taim, if this is a joke, it’s a bad one even for you.” There’s equal parts of exasperation and dread in his voice but very little hope. No, Taim can’t detect much hope in it at all. As seconds pass, turning into minutes and Taim still says nothing, Logain eventually breaks the silence again. “Blood and _ashes_ , Taim.”

Logain gets out of the bed and starts gathering his clothes. Taim doesn’t move, doesn’t look at him. For a while, the only sound is the rustle of cloth as Logain gets dressed, but it’s not long until his need to get answers overrides the sense of betrayal at having it sprung on him like this.

“Why?” Logain asks halfway through lacing up his shirt. “When? I mean, for how long? And why are you telling me now?”

Taim turns his head a fraction. The other man is staring at him now, his shirt half open and his hair still a tangled mess, looking ridiculously attractive. Taim looks away again. “Do you want answers in order of relevance or in the order you asked?”

 _“Just answer me!”_ Logain roars, the abrupt noise making Taim flinch a little. A glass on the night stand bursts, sending shards flying all over the room. One hits Taim on his right temple, drawing blood. Judging by the way he’s swearing under his breath, Logain didn’t think to protect himself, either.

Taim sits up finally, feeling his nakedness keenly now that Logain is mostly dressed and looming over him glaring murder. He resists the urge to cover up as though he’s embarrassed, however; he’s Saldaean and not so easily fazed. “Demandred came calling, shortly before you showed up,” he said, tilting his head to look up at Logain. “I thought it prudent to take his offer.”

Logain snorts, then scowls again. “Wait. _Before_ I showed up? You mean that all this time, _the entire time_ we’ve been—” He cuts off, gesturing eloquently at the bedroom around them. “You’ve been…”

“A darkfriend, yes!” Taim replies, more harshly than intended but he can’t bring himself to care enough to moderate his tone. “Do you think Demandred was going to let me live if I turned him down? Do you think I had any chance to resist— a _Forsaken,_ Logain! A Forsaken! Do you think I had a chance on my own? I don’t know about you, Logain, but I’m not dying for al’Thor when he doesn’t give a damn about us!”

Logain shakes his head with a heavy sigh and pulls up a chair by the bed. Sitting down, he speaks again. “But why are you telling me all this now?” he asks, though he sounds like he can already guess the answer. “No, don’t tell me. You’ve realised that your buddy _Demandred_ is just using you, you want out, and you’re asking me to fix this?” He seems to struggle with himself, and judging by his venomous tone when he continues, he lost. “Was he bedding you, too?”

Taim probably should have expected the question, but jealousy at a time like this is so— so ludicrously quaint that he nearly laughs. “What, if I say yes, are you going to ask me about his tactical measurements next?” He doesn’t even attempt to rein in the sarcasm in his voice, though to his credit he regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth and he hurries to continue. “No, Logain, but I was _hoping_ you might find it in you to help _me_ fix it.” Because Logain is the first thing in a long time that almost makes Taim think fixing things may yet be possible. Because Logain is the only thing in the world that makes him want to try. 

For a while Logain just stares at him as though wondering whether any of this is real. “Very well,” he says then, the words clipped and sharp like arrows. “I’ll do whatever it takes to save the Black Tower. And after that, I’m turning you in and you’ll answer for what you’ve done before the Lord Dragon himself.”

Taim nods, clamping down hard on the sense of loss that threatens to overwhelm him as Logain stands up again and turns away. “I wouldn’t expect anything less,” he replies.

“Now put some clothes on,” Logain says flatly, the complete lack of emotion in his voice the only sign of the hurt he must be feeling. “We’ll continue this conversation in your study once you’re decent.” Then he’s gone without as much as a backwards glance.

Taim remains sitting on the edge of the bed and lowers his head to his hands, closing his eyes. Things that are too good to last, usually don’t. He gives himself ten seconds to contemplate the loss of— whatever it was that he had with Logain, neither of them ever put a name to it, before gathering himself and getting up.

There’s work to be done.


End file.
